Monday, March 7, 2011

Officially a Mess

This past weekend I attended what will most likely be my last college party ever.

My friend Eric picked me up after work on Thursday and we headed south toward the University of Illinois, to partake in their annual "Unofficial Saint Patrick's Day" festivities.

Here's a quick summary:

power hour - serving beer with a milk jug
Started drinking after omelette's around 10am, went to a party and did a keg stand and a power hour, went to another party for beer pong, came back to the apt where we were staying, drank some four loko, blacked out, and puked. Was woken up and removed from the bathroom floor about three hours later by a girl speaking French. Fell asleep on the couch. Woke up again and began crying because I had "failed Unofficial." My friends convinced me that I hadn't failed yet because it was only 5:00pm. We ordered Jimmy Johns and went for round two. We played "Zoomie, Zoomie" on the bus with drunk sorority girls, got to the next apt, someone named Dan was serving Moonshine, someone else sat on a glass coffee table and it shattered and cut a girls foot through her shoes. We headed to the next party. The elevator stopped on the seventh floor to let someone on, she claimed that there was a man passed out in the hallway and he might not have been breathing, we continued on to the 15th floor, here I ate goldfish with a drug dealer. We decided to call it quits at this point, while walking home my friend sang inappropriate lyrics at the top of his lungs while we avoided break dancers in the street, cops and giant puddles from the rain.

the only way to keep track of alcohol intake